Loving One More Joanna's journal in Haiti

Today was a day of extreme highs and extreme lows for me.  

I started out my morning at Port au Prince Fellowship church. This is where my friends John and Beth McHoul pastor.  As I sat there this morning worshiping to great music among my Haitian and American friends, I realized that this is one of my favorite places on earth.  At that moment the world felt so small. 
John preached on brokeness and how we all need to experience to become whole.  It really got me thinking.  I am in a country that is more broken that my mind can even comprehend and when will it be fulfill to wholeness.  Then I stop to think, what is it to be whole.  My mind quickly become overwhelmed and I found myself shutting down.  

It was great at church to see so many friends and how they are adapting to their new lives in Haiti.  For this I am hopeful. 

After church we spent the day with my friend Patrick.  He and I have been friends since 2005.  He was the driver for Gerturde and we got to be good friends over the years.  He took Anne and I out to the countryside where he bought a piece of land that he is going to build his home.  It was so sad.  It was like I was in the desert.  Not a tree to be seen and right in the scorching sun.  He is in the process of digging a 10 foot hole so he will be able to have a water tank on his property.  But like everything, he will build as he has the money. It could take years to complete the project.  I was so overwhelmed but he was so excited and was so certain that this is going to someday be a great community.  Who am I to be discouraged when I am not the one that will ever need to live in anything like this.  

 

On our way back to town, we were talking about Patrick’s father that was killed in the earthquake.  Once Patrick found his father’s body he did build a casket and also had him buried in a cemetery.  This was very rare to do especially after the quake but Patrick wanted to honor his father.  Since we were driving past the cemetery, I told Patrick that if he wanted to stop we would go with him to see his father’s grave.  In retrospect, this was a terrible idea.  I should tell you that all the graves are built above ground.  I know I was freaking myself out but after winding through the tombs I couldn’t take it anymore.  I was yelling for Patrick telling him I needed to get out.  Just then, I looked down and there were bones lying on the ground.  I am a nurse, therefore I took anatomy and it was certainly leg bones that were on the ground.  I got out of there are quickly as possible without even getting to see his father’s grave and Patrick following behind me laughing out of control. 

 

We went to see Patrick’s son Evan. He is adorable and getting so big.  I think I can say that he was excited to see me.  This hasn’t always been the case. We spent a little time at their home and enjoyed seeing the kids.  

 

We then went to TiJean’s new house.  He and his brother live in a small apartment.  He was so proud to show us his new place.  He had a couple friends over watching soccer.  It is a huge deal here right now.  We then drove to see the remains of the Providence guesthouse that I once called home.  It was so sad to see once again.  The large pieces of broken cement are now crushed into smaller pieces.  Still lots of rubble that will need to be moved before any rebuilding can take place.  

 

 

We then took a tour of downtown. We saw the palace, the Catholic cathedral and multitudes of tent cities.  I think this is when I got so overwhelmed. All of this was so much to take in.  I lost sight of “it matters to that one”. I started questioning if what I am doing is even making one bit of difference. The needs are undescribable and massive.  In such a hopeless place, I see so many Haitians being so hopeful.  I think it is a good lesson to myself.  God is so much greater that all of this but do I really believe that He is as big as he is? 

 

Once we returned back to the guesthouse we had a little downtime before we went and had Thanksgiving dinner with the “Heartline family.” Since the earthquake, each night someone from the Heartline team cooks for all the staff and volunteers.  It is so fun to be part of such an amazing community.  Also, since the earthquake, every Sunday night John has a time of outdoor worship after dinner.  It is so powerful to worship under the canopy of stars that I see when I am in Haiti and the same stars I am under at the cabin.  That makes the world so much smaller once again.